joke time

[andrewd]

post jokes that you have here

dr dave has slept with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. no matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn`t. the guilt and sense of betrayal were overwhelming. but every once in a while he`d hear an internal, reassuring voice that said: "dave, don`t worry about it. you aren`t the first medical practitioner to sleep with one of their patients and you won`t be the last. and you`re single. just let it go." but invariably another voice would bring him back to reality, whispering: "dave...you`re a vet"

[andrewd]

post jokes that you have here

dr dave has slept with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. no matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn`t. the guilt and sense of betrayal were overwhelming. but every once in a while he`d hear an internal, reassuring voice that said: "dave, don`t worry about it. you aren`t the first medical practitioner to sleep with one of their patients and you won`t be the last. and you`re single. just let it go." but invariably another voice would bring him back to reality, whispering: "dave...you`re a vet"

[andrewd]

the good vs the bad

(sorry if this offends, but its ment in good fun)

Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hot. Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons.

Good girls only own one credit card and rarely use it. Bad girls only own one bra and rarely use it.

Good girls wax their floors. Bad girls wax their bikini lines.

Good girls blush during love scenes in a movie. Bad girls know they could do it better.

Good girls think they're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls. Bad girls think they're fully dressed with just a strand of pearls.

Good girls wear high heels to work. Bad girls wear high heels to bed.

Good girls say, ''Don't... Stop...'' Bad girls say, ''Don't Stop...''

[gug]

a priest, a rabbai and a nun walk into a bar. the bartender says: "is this some kind of joke?".

[ethanL007]

A skeleton walks into a bar, and orders a beer and a mop.

[random]

I wonder how many of you have heard this one?

There was a gynaecologist's convention, and during a lunch break, a French and an American physician (males) have a chat about a few patients they have seen.

The Frenchman suddenly exclaims "I saw this woman the other day, and she had a clitoris like a melon!"�

The American shakes his head and says "A golf ball maybe, but not melon size."�

The Frenchman exclaims, "Stupid Americans, all you ever think about is the size. I am talking about the taste man! The taste!"�

[RocketScience]

A fairy penguin leaves Phillip Island for a driving holiday around Australia. On a lonely road in the middle of the outback the penguin notices smoke coming from the engine and nurses the car to the nearest town.

He finds a garage, but the mechanic tells him, "I won't be able to take a look at it for at least an hour mate."
The penguin takes a waddle through town and is getting very hot and bothered when he finds sanctuary in an Ice cream parlour.

He goes inside and orders a big bowl of vanilla icecream, but with his stumpy little flippers
manages only to make a big mess. Eventually he returns to the garage covered in melted icecream.

The mechanic peers up from under the hood and says "Mate, it looks like you've blown a seal".
The penguin, looking shocked, replies "No, no. I was eating icecream."

[Big Daddy]

Monica Lewenski walked into her drycleaners shop and placed a dress on the counter. The she asked the older man behind the counter how long it will take. Being hard of hearing the man said Come Again? She said no this time its mustard.

[Matt Ahl]

A gynaecologist decides he's fed up with his job and decides to pursue his true passion; he wants to become an auto mechanic. So he signs up for a training class at the local technical school and attends class for a year.

Then it comes down the final test. A 100 point test to see if each student can rebuild an engine. So the doctor goes through his rebuild, finishes up at the end of the day and asks the instructor to come score his rebuild. The instructor checks everything off and tells the doctor: "Engine looks good, so I'll give you the full 100 points for the test; and an extra 50 for doing the entire rebuild through the tailpipe."

[Mike T.]

The dead baby jokes...I'm sure most of you have heard these before, but for those who haven't:

What's the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of babies? Only one of them can be emptied with a pitchfork.

What's worse that a dead baby in a dumpster? Ten dead babies in a dumpster. Whats worse than ten dead babies in a dumpster? Ten dead babies in ten dumpsters. Whats worse than ten dead babies in ten dumpsters? One dead baby in ten dumpsters.

More to come later...